i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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