She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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