wrigley field is MILF paradise
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
