Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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