Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
