once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
