Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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