I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
