He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year