How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
seriously i just wanna be friends
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.