I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods