youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
