just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
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Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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