just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize