if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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