drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
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Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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