I just saw a hot homeless man
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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