She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
