DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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