I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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