I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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