you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
