$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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