I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
