did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
