conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
