and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
