So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We have started to decorate penises.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
