is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and she was petting her beer can
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
