I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
