i think i have herpe
just one?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
