SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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