My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
