I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
