How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
