So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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