my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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