i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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