I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize