i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
