we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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