The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
