Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
