You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
