Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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