when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
