am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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