I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
