Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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