This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
