you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
