its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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