Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
