Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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