I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
