Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
