"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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