yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
