We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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