So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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