i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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