Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
