that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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