Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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