just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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