I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
