Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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